Dear blog, after abandoning you for so long, i'm finally back with a megaton of unhappiness waiting to be poured out.It has been a long way since my enlistment to SAF and looking back at the past 1 year, i do not know whether to hate or love this organisation.
My pride has been hurt on the day i received the posting and i failed to get to OCS. Although i'm a non- believer, i do believe that fate has a funny way of grooming us, teaching us and leading us to our destination. In the past 1 year, I have learnt to swallow my pride, learned to let go of the past and face the present, worked with the the most ridiculous superior and meet all kind of people, from all kind of background, be it true blue hokkien beng, wayang king, backstabbers, wimps, retards or scholars. Without an appointment or a rank, I feel at ease and do not see the need to strict-en myself and enable myself to talk to them as an equal and truly understand them. Sometimes you wonder why people do this do that but have you ever thought that not everyone thinks alike. What we seems to be common sense, right or even necessary may seems to be nonsense to some other people cause their mentality, their objective in life, their priority is entirely different.
Always excelling in studies ever since I was a kid, i see myself superior to those in neighborhood school, ITE or dropouts. But my mentality totally changed after entering army, there's no big difference between me and them.
Next is the YOG, i'm awfully disappointed when my ridiculous superior went all the way out just to stop me from participating, ridicule and insulted me, even gave me extra for she think i bear a grudge against her for this matter when i have done nothing to her at all. What depressed me even more is that trying your best to try to bring success to the show, to bring pride to your country was seen as a 'threat' to national security. Hey, get a life, we are all sitting in the office doing practically nothing everyday and an attempt to increase our 'GDP' was insulted?
Managed to get over the down period and was really happy to at least get a chance to participate in this year's NDP, at least i learnt to counter all ridiculous opposition by anticipating all the noteworthy and possible de-butt i will face.
Next thing is my father (yes, i know AGAIN)
In just a short span of 1 year, he had spent $150k on some so called "nu-er" in china and yet he is unwilling to fork out $24k over 4 years for my university and another sum for my brother to pursue a tertiary course of his preference and he even has the gut to ask my brother to save his money into a bank account belong to him (my dad)
Ever since young, when everyone talked about going overseas with their family be it korea, japan or european countries, I can only sit at my lonely corner because all i know about these places are what i saw form picture, read from books or internet.
I have decided and will not go back on my words, once i graduated and start having a job on my own, my dad is not going to get a single cent, even if one day he has to resort to begging on the street, i will not shed a single tear for him. Harsh it may seems but having a dad like that is the biggest insult to my entire life. Just speaking about him made me feel disgusted =(
Last but not least, there's something i could have told everyone earlier but i do not want to cause worries. One week prior to aristal, on a friday, i broke my rib, the 4th one from the top on the right to be exact. I choose to keep it from everyone and just said it was a small internal injury. Everyone is working so hard, esp during the last week that i cannot bear to tell them im in no condition to dance. Luckily, the broken rib did not puncture any organs and since rib fracture are managed conservatively, it will recover by itself over some time. If you are curious how a rib fracture feels like, it hurts every time you take in a breath and it is almost impossible to exert any strength.
Guess i shall end it here, it's getting kinda late.
